end of the rope?

This will probably sound horrible, but I will share any ways. That's what the bloggin is about, right? The other day I woke up, and thought to myself I can't wait for Max's bedtime. Mama needs a break.

I know, sounds awful right.  I may be that horrible person that I fear.  But I couldn't shake it.  I just felt this dire need to have some "peace" time.

So what does one do when one feels like this?  Well I can't put the baby back where he came from, so that's off the list.  And the hubby was working so there was no tapping out.  "You"re it!"

What I did do.  Powered through.  Put my big girl undies on and rocked the day the best I could.  Drank an extra cup of coffee, stretched, vented to some friends, and CHARGED.

I know myself well enough to know that this feeling will pass.  But while it's here, it can feel pretty isolating.  It can also make you feel like a bad mama.   It has nothing to do with Max, or my life really.  I love being a mother.  But sometimes you just need a break.  Sometimes you just need quiet, and most of the time that is not an option.

What do you do when you feel at the end of your rope?

my monster, my angel....

Some moments are just so perfect.

This wasn't really one of those moments....Ha!

Max is now sleeping through the night.  I think it is because he is no longer nursing.  But really I don't care what the reason is.  I'll take it!

But like they say, you must take the good with the bad.  The bad being that now when Max wakes, he apparently is possessed by the devil.

He is so freakin' moody.  I blame the hubby for his.  He too has horrible waking behavior.  SO now when Max wakes he cries and wines for about 20 minutes.  Nothing really soothes him. He flails his body around, and he crawls all over me.

But on a good day, after his flailing, he passes out on my belly.

This was one of those moments.  Doesn't he look like an angel?

I'll take it!


~mama

Happy Birthday Grandpa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA!

wish we were with you to shower you with kisses.

Look who keeps growing....

My little Maximus is 15 months today.  And Yes, I am "one of those mothers"!  You know the ones, the ones that can't just say he's a year.  Nope I got to add every single month on.  And maybe, just maybe I will keep doing so till he's 4 and a half.  

So that would make him, um..........54 months old.

Today at his well baby check they told me that all is well.  His head is still HUGE.  No, but really it's in the 89th percentile. And his height.....13th percentile.  So yes folks, he resembles his father :).

He got two shots today.  

Have I mentioned before that this causes me great anxiety.  I have still held off on the MMR vaccine.  Not sure if or when I will do that one.  Guess I am just procrastinating.

But all looked good.  The monster is healthy and happy. And has a nice set of lungs on him to boot! As witnessed today after his shots.

Isn't he so handsome!

Better late than NEVER...

I know the "National" day to register has passed, but it doesn't mean you can't get off your arse now and register.

Click below and DO IT~

Thanks!

http://nationalvoterregistrationday.org/

Hi-Lar-ious!

Have you had a chance to peruse Jezebel?

Funny Shiz!

Like this little article, 
enjoy!

10 surprising facts about toddlers......

by Tracy Moore

I, like most people who live in the world, have run across a toddler or two in my time. The problem is, I didn't really pay super close attention, though, as I never intended to have an actual toddler, so like zoning out during the first six weeks of geometry and never picking up on how to prove a theorem, I found myself with a toddler, but without a clue about what a Pythagorean whatever thingy is. For instance…

Did you know that a toddler is just like a person who has never been told anything at all about how the world works, including gravity, feelings or bathroom doors?

Did you know a toddler will kick you in the face and then laugh even when you are crying?

Did you know that a toddler is not your friend, but totally loves you, but not if you don't give it what it wants, and then even if you give it what it wants it sometimes loves you but even then it's no guarantee, because that's just how it is?

Did you know that a toddler will eat string cheese four times a day?

Did you know that you were tricked the two times you gave it to her because you didn't know she also asked her father twice for string cheese when you weren't listening and he gave it to her as well?

Did you know that if you think about it, your toddler's behavior is really not all that different from your worst boyfriends?

Did you know that your toddler will jump up and down on the couch even though you said not to a thousand times, and then when you ask the toddler why she is jumping up and down on the couch when you told her not to, she will say, "Because I'm jumping," like you are the idiot?

Did you know that when a toddler tells you things that happened that day that they might have happened today, last night or three weeks ago, and good luck figuring out which one, especially if it sounds kinda disturbing, like "and then he put it all over my body"?

Did you know that if a toddler said that Oscar bit her at daycare, and he did, but only once, still, even weeks after the Oscar-biting incident, every boo-boo is now blamed on Oscar, including bug bites, even when Oscar is nowhere near where you live?

Did you know that a toddler needs to go back inside the house after you've left in the morning approximately three times because she forgot her 1.) string cheese, 2.) her monkey, 3.) her neck-a-lace?

Did you know that if you take a bite of a toddler's bagel that you are a horrible person, even if she was obviously already finished with it?

Did you know that a toddler wants two bananas at once or if not that, some string cheese?

Did you know that your toddler "wants to look" every time you go to do anything, including pee?

Did you know that your toddler learned the world "bottom" but sometimes thinks it is "body" so when she says "Put it on my body" she just means "put it on me" and not some other kind of insanely disturbing activity that sounds terrifying?

Did you know your toddler has a "bugger" but she means booger which she will hand you every single time she discovers one?

Did you know that a toddler will say she does not have a poopie in her pants even though she totally, categorically does have a poopie?

Did you know that if your toddler eats a lot of bananas and cheese in one day that the poopie will resemble a small marble statue of a gargoyle?

Did you know that a toddler will say in a celebratory voice when you are changing her diaper, "You smelled my poopie!" ?

Did you know the only thing you can really answer to that question is "Yes, yes I did smell your poopie. And it was delightful. You win."

---

Tracy Moore is a writer in Los Angeles who has a toddler who is crushing it on a daily basis. Like, literally and figuratively. Offer support and general counsel on Twitter @iusedtobepoor.

Remlinger Farms

Last weekend we made the trek to Remlinger Farm.  In researching farms to go to, Remlinger was listed at the "Disneyland" of farms.  Needless to say, we had to check this puppy out!

It didn't disappoint.  With fall here, the decor had a harvest theme. Super cute!

We rode trains, got lost in a hay maze, ate yummy snacks,  and petted Alpacas, and donkeys. But best of all we hung with good friends.

I gotta say though, after 3 hours of chasing monsters around, this mama was beat.  It took me two full days to recover.  Its all fun and games till a mama passes out.

the train, the train

who needs animals when you have rocks?

Look ma!

CHEESE
( all monsters are just a few days apart and first met when they were in our bellies)

are we lost?

Yeehaw

What doesn't kill us......

I realize that I have probably mentioned this before, that Max is showing his fair share of toddler tantrums.  I am still trying to navigate this.  Usually I just want to cover my ears and run.  But I understand this not the most positive response.  So as I am feeling my way around this "stage", I am trying to remind myself that #1 nothing lasts forever, and #2 what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

This was until today. 

Today, as I took my phone away from Max, he began to throw his tantrum.  He flung his miniature body to the ground and began to wail.  I tried to redirect, showing him his cars, book, milk etc.  It didn't work.  I was sitting next to him when he flung his body on to mine.  Not, unusual.  He does this often.  I just let him.  But then I felt his tiny, sharp, needle teeth sink into my skin.

I yanked him off my back and yelled...

NO! NO BITE.

Sat him down, with some force, and ran away.

I was pissed! So pissed.  And maybe a tad irrational.  But you know that feeling, like when you stub your toe and you yell really bad words.  Perhaps worse than the typical F*#K.

Anyways, I ran to my deck; swearing, slammed the door and watched as Max screamed for me.  Tears running down his face. 

 I pretended they were "I'm sorry tears", "You're a wonderful mama and how could I have hurt you".  But we all know that wasn't what he was screaming.

No, he was probably screaming, "give me back that damn phone".

What doesn't kill us.....right?

headed back to Cali!

So if you follow this blog, you know that this family travels to and fro to California twice a year.  Once for three month stint, and once for 6 weeker.  In total, (let me do the math) we live in California for 4.5 months out of the year.  Not quite half and half, but pretty damn close.

How do I feel about this arrangement? Eh, depends on the day I guess.  If the stars are aligned or if I have had my coffee or not.

I strangely do really enjoy Cali when I am there.  There is endless things to do in terms of getting out and seeing things.  One weekend we can head to LA, another weekend were in San Francisco.  We can go to the dessert or to the ocean. Its feels pretty limitless.  Its fun in that way.

The hard part? The transitioning.  I feel once I get settled back in Seattle, I am practically packing up ship to head out again.  These last three months have flown by.  Just when I feel I am finding my rhythm, buttoning up my routine.....Shazam! Time to leave.  That's how I am feeling now.

I know once I get there I will welcome it.  But right now I feel like trying to burrow my toes into the carpet in hopes of getting stuck.

And then I just CAN'T leave.

Santa Cruz

A hundred Thank you's

A Friendly reminder.....

Don't forget to vote!

All you have to do is click on this picture.

Its located on the right!

See it?

CLICK IT!

A hundred Thank you's!

Sincerly,

Mama

Good Friends and Family

Where would we be without good friends and family?  Most likely in a ditch, on the side of the road, prehaps by a river.

I remember, years ago, a person told me that if you could count your friends on your two hands, you were doing pretty good.  I didn't really know what he was talking about at the time, but now it all makes sense.  I feel extremely lucky to have enough people in my life to call my friends.  They remind you of who you are, where you came from and where you are going.

Thanks again, Gibbs family for your wonderful hospitality.

sooooo fun!

not real happy with this situation

buddies

The Bur-Que

This last week we traveled to Albuquerque, New Mexico to visit some friends and family.  The hubby was raised in NM, and for those of you have never been, its beautiful.  Saturated in color and culture, you can't help but wanna learn all about the Southwest.  And their food....Auh-maz-ing!

Granted the green chili makes my tummy a little cranky, but its oh so worth it.

These pictures where taken at a park where we stopped to blow off some steam and eat some greasy, yummy green chili cheeseburgers, courtesy of Whataburger!

Mia...stinkin cute!

Mama's in action

snuggles

getty up horsey

Bro's

weeeeeeeee

you sure about this ma?

I won!

I won! I won!

and I never win anything.

I am sort of a party pooper in that way.  Since I never win, I never enter.

But then, reading one of my favorite blogs, www.brixtonmakesthree.com.  I came across a giveaway she was promoting.

And guess what?

I WON!

Maybe it was the fact that she was using the bag in Seattle?  Perhaps I had an unfair advantage?  Like the bag or its twin, wanted to return to the Emerald City.  And how could I blame um.

Looks good, dontcha think?

thanks again guys! I love it!

pin pin

I knew once I created a challenge for myself (see entry about pinterest) I would fall a little short.  A work in progress I say!!! and say and say.

Well on Pinterest the other day I saw this cute idea for cotton balls and q-tips.  Below is the picture I found on pinterest itself.  

So I rummaged through the condo and found something very similar.  And Ta-DA.  My very own holder, tingy-bobby.

by makaiserman

cute idea, right?

Taos Pueblo

In New Mexico we drove about two hours outside Albuquerque to Taos.  I great little town filled with all sorts of hidden gems.  We walked the city, ate a delish brunch, where I sampled some blue corn and blueberry hotcakes, YUM, and did some sight seeing.

We ended our adventure at an old Pueblo, actually ancient Pueblo.  The Tiwa tribe estimates that it was built about 1000 years ago.  That's right, 1000.

1900 people still reside in this area, and about 150 people still live as they did, hundreds of years ago without water or electricity.  

A truly beautiful place.

sister act

Some people are born with siblings, and some just get collected along the way.

Below are my sisters.  Not from blood, but from the earth. 

You know in life, when things come together, and they just work?  

That is our story.

The details of our story can get a tad melancholy, as many stories do.  Perhaps later I will open that chapter, but for now I can tell you what came of it,

SISTERHOOD...

I gained two sisters at age 15, even though I knew them all my life.  I had never had sisters before, but our camaraderie was established long before I unpacked my bags.  Their mother, and my mother had been the best of friends, which meant of course us girls would become the best of friends.

35 years later, here we are.  Bridesmaids in my wedding, aunties to my monster, and tradition holders for the next generation of siblings that are to come, in what ever form they may hold.

They give me roots, and I will forever be thankful.

Raising boys.....a good article

Let’s get one thing clear from the get go: moms are generally better parents than dads. And that goes double for me. I’ve had three kids across two marriages and I am undoubtedly the weak link. My 16-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son trust their step-mom more than they trust me, which proves that I married well but am still getting the hang of being a dad. Most of us are.

That said, there are a few subtle nuances that I have picked up along the way as a dad that might come in handy for moms raising boys.

Ladies, here are some things to think about with your boys:

• Think caveman. Adult women have thousands of emotional states, as do girls like my daughter. Boys, on the other hand, tend to feel one of three: mad, sad, happy. Don’t project your complex emotional life on your son. His issue of the moment might not be that complicated. He wants to eat, poop, or run. On a really bad day he wants his toy back after some other kid took it from him. He doesn’t want to stare out the window and have lengthy discussions about the meaning of life, as my eight-year-old daughter often did.
• Watch his body not his mouth. Again, like adult men, the clues to how your son is doing will show up first in his body language. Jumping up and down with six-inch vertical leaps is the natural state of being and is good. Slumped shoulders are bad. Yelling is good. Quiet needs attention.
• When in doubt, hug. Boys will often have a much harder time than girls verbalizing their problems. My 5-year-old son will sometimes burst out into tears after seemingly trivial events. I know there is something deeper going on, but I am not going to get it out of him, at least not at that moment (whereas my daughter would not only tell me what went wrong but in no uncertain terms why it was my fault, which was generally true enough). So the solution is physical not verbal. I spend a lot of time just hugging my boys. I usually have no idea why. But as a default cure-all, it seems to work wonders. A minute later they are all patched up and ready to rumble again. This even works pretty well with my 14-year-old, who is a 6-foot-tall linebacker at Boston College High School.
• Yes, it really is all about poop. Girls potty train 6 to 9 months before boys, but once boys make it onto the throne, there is no stopping them. Moving their bowels is pretty much the highlight of their day (true confession: it still is for me, too), and they are going to want to talk about it. Bathroom time is a participatory sport. My five-year-old likes to head to the bathroom just as the family is sitting down to dinner, sometimesduring dinner. It’s the first time he has been still long enough to realize he has to go. And he wants me to come with him, not just to assist in the wipe but to have a leisurely conversation about the status of his poop. As much as I found this inconvenient at first, now I just go with it. Quality time is quality time.
• Batman lives forever. Boys, even at a young age, realize the importance of super powers. They want to be good and believe in the existence of ultimate good in the world. Boys sort out their identities in relation to the mythical characters they hear about. My son is obsessed with Batman. He wears a full costume, even through the airport and down Madison Avenue. What amazes me even more than his dedication to the superhero is how the guard at LaGuardia or the guy hanging off the back of a garbage truck sees him and shouts, “Batman!” My boy nods his head just slightly, acknowledging his public before moving onto the important work at hand, like going to kindergarten.
• Pointless physical activity is perfect. My brother and I once convinced his two sons and my older boy, when they were all around the age of 10, that they really needed to build a structure out of rocks. The rocks were on one side of a beach, but the perfect spot where the structure had to be built, according to our sage advice, was on the other side of the beach. Each stone weighed between ten and thirty pounds. The boys started moving the boulders one by one, working together to lift the heaviest ones. My brother and I set up our beach chairs midway from the rock pile to building site. We read the paper most of the morning while the boys tired themselves out moving rocks and then assembling a tremendous cathedral. By lunch they were tired and happy, and my brother and I had enjoyed a peaceful morning.
• Winning does matter, but less than you think. Boys – perhaps even more than girls – put themselves under extreme pressure to perform in school, in sports, and in social situations. They talk about it less, so the sting of failure can run even more deeply than with girls. With boys it’s important to emphasize the lessons to be gained from failure, instead of trying to win at all costs, and to emphasize the development of the whole boy. Too often in our culture, boys are pushed to become one-dimensional robots. Goodness isn’t about winning at youth soccer or having the most friends or being the smartest kid in class; it’s also about being kind. That’s something as a mom that you can particularly help your son understand.
• Clothes matter. I know there are way more options for dressing little girls than little boys, so the tendency might be to just throw jeans and a t-shirt on your son and forget about it. But you better make sure they are the right jeans and the right t-shirt. The only consistent battle I have had with my sons is over what they wear. It matters way more to them than I ever would have imagined. They want to look cool; they want to be comfortable (pants that are tight but not too tight, warm and yet breathable). I do draw the line with clothes that have already been worn two days in a row, but I don’t discount the importance of fashion to my kindergartener.
• Crowds, not so much. I have noticed that my daughter lights up when she enters a crowd, whether family or strangers. Mass humanity is something that gives her energy. With my boys, and, frankly, for me too, it’s the opposite. They get shy and tend to hide behind my legs. I try to protect them from these situations and not push them beyond their limitations.
• Bedtime is sacred. Because boys are so active, it’s hard to get them to sit still. The best time of day is the ten minutes before they go to sleep. Crawl into bed with them, read books, and hold them while they fall off to sleep. If you don’t believe in God, you will once you have lain next to your overactive son while his body goes limp next to you, and he ever so faintly begins to snore.

I stole this lil beauty from goodmenproject.com after a girlfriend of mine forwarded it on to me.  So simple, and seemingly so true.  For me, being a mother to a son is sort of a mystery.  I really have no insight on how to raise a man.  I know the sort of man I want him to be.  How to treat women, how to respect others and himself.  But in terms of simplifying my emotions and not complicating his, I never thought of that.  

Thank god for fathers!