Balance

I read a lot of blogs. Mostly about parenting, motherhood and DIYing.  One topic I haven't seen a lot about is household balance.  And what I mean by this is how a couple maintains a balance in the household once a child enters the picture.  The hubby and I have been married seven years next Monday.  And it has been a great seven years too ( no itch yet, lol).  Before we had Max we talked at lenght about how it would look, being parents.  Who would sleep or not sleep, who would work a 9-5 job and who would be good cop vs. bad cop.  We went around and around on some issues but I knew I wanted to stay home.  I didn't know how the rest would pan out, but I was ready for what ever came my way.  Max is now a year old, and the hubby and I have a pretty good system worked out....a well oiled machine one might say.  With the exception that about every few months I tend to come undone.  This usually manifests in me becoming a little withdrawn and little short.  The hubby typically picks up on these signs.  I then usually break down and go into a long explanation on why I need a break, and how I feel overwhelmed.

Now I have to believe that most mothers feel me on this.  We do A LOT of work.  My question is, how do we balance this so its divided fairly, and so one parent doesn't feel like they take the brunt of it???
Now R is a great provider and a great dad so I feel awful after my quarterly break downs.  How do I not let myself transcend down the rabbit hole? How do I not get resentful?

What the hubby suggested, and what he always suggests, is that I ask for help.  If I need a little extra help or an escape, ask for it.  Easy enough right?  Why is it then that I don't?  A computation problem for me I suppose.  Something I probably need to look into more....

But my goal is to ask more so that I can have more balance.  So that our household can have more balance.  I can see how this slope can get slippery.  How couples stop asking for help and slowly get weighed down by resentment and bitterness.  I do not want to travel down this road.

So I will continue to ask.  And I love R so much for simply reminding me to do so.