Sound fun right? Not so much. The blood tests, eh, a walk in the park. The Hysterosongram, pretty uneventful. Just an internal ultrasound to check for lumps and bump. The Hysterosalpingogram. That one, not the greatest. Sure it was uncomfortable. And annoying. And there was pressure and cramping. But the real kicker? The room. I had no idea I was walking into what looked like an operating room. Super sterile and all metal. Huge machines that rotated around your body. And the best, the flat, metal table they have you lay on with only a hospital gown. (It was freezing in there) Oh and the attached stirrups. That was a nice touch. At least they told me to keep my socks on. That was sweet.
So I panicked. I tried to keep my cool face on. Like this is fine, no biggy. But really in my head I was shitting my pants. I was terrified. Not sure of what really, I guess of the unknown. Will it hurt? Will they find something horrible in my uterus?
As I laid there for what felt like hours waiting for the doctor, my anxiety started to get the best of me. I was trying to do some deep breathing. I was cracking jokes with the nurses. Finally the doctor arrived. A short Chinese man. Imagine the character from Hangover, Mr. Chow. But not funny.
As they started the procedure, I started to get light headed and felt like I was going to vomit. This was an awesome feeling. It reminded me a lot of my C-section. Throwing up laying down is tricky. The sweet nurses wet a damp cloth and wiped my forehead. It was super mothering an appreciated. After 20 minutes, the anxiety subsided and I was able to be clearer. I could actually watch the monitor and see my fallopian tubes get pumped up with dye.
Isn't funny when you are in pain or discomfort, as women we feel the need to constantly apologize. OH, I'm sorry I being a wimp, or I am sorry you have to take care of me. It was an interesting. And I pondered it for awhile as I laid partly naked on a metal table with my legs in the air.
Of course my test came back all fine. All the mechanics are working and things "should" be normal. Rob was tested last week, which he also enjoyed fully, no not really. So now we wait. And wait some more.
I still am not sure what the next course is. And I am starting to wonder if I am cut out for this. More testing and prodding. Do I want another baby? Of course. Should I be listening to the universe that maybe it is not in the cards? Maybe?
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| google image, not me |
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