Quiet time is interesting. Tonight I am home alone. All is, well, quiet. All is still. And instead of basking in my short run of freedom, I am sad. I am lonely. I am too consumed with thoughts that are usually silenced by a wonderfully demanding toddler. It's one main thought really. As my boy turned three today, I am over come with the notion that I may never have another. Another newborn to smell or snuggle. Another baby to swaddle or nurse. To experience milestones with or pick up when they fall down. I know I have more of these to experience with my monster, but when the idea that it may not happen again is upon you.....well, the silence is deafening.
So far its only been 6 months of trying. But six months feels like a life time now. And I know there are some that know exactly what I am talking about. I see all these full bellies around me, swollen and lovely. I can't wait to join that club again. Even thought I know what it will entail. Months of morning sickness and exhaustion. But I also know what the end will result in. A perfect little baby that I can devour and whisper endless lullabies too. Three years ago I wouldn't of imagined wanting another one so badly. Five years ago I didn't even know if motherhood was even something I wanted. It's so interesting how life changes, and changes you. I now know that I am meant to be a mother and that it is and will be the greatest thing I do.
I know you are out there, waiting for your mama, come home little one, come home!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
It is cool watching Max and their kids meet yearly and pick up where they left off. Now Ford is old enough to interact and Max kept calling him the baby. Although in my mind, Max is still a baby too. They explored, hiked, boated, ate ice-cream and played. What all young kids should do. It was a pretty awesome trip, and Yosemite, it's gorgeous. Majestic and magical, what you would expect. We saw lots of deer, and even a wee baby one. We splashed in the lakes, gazed at the brightest of stars, and got to catch up with old friends.
Where will next year take us?
|swinging bridge, although it didn't swing?|
|such a ham|
|rocking the underpants|
|I can't get over that cute crack|
|work to do|
|its hard work climbing rocks|
|had to ride the steam train|
|all suited up|
|my brave boy let us pull him on the boat|
|and Ford went nice and slow|
I love me some berry pickin'. Grace and Max had a great time too, aside
from the bee scare ( they had a small bee farm on site.) Neither were stung, but the chance was terrifying enough
I loved watching them pick berries off the tree and eat them. Max kept saying "yummy". I picked about five pounds, and so far I've made a crumble and pancakes. Now with the other 2 pounds. Ha.
Not a bad day in farm county!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Santa Cruz is always a good time, and it is even better when you get to show it to someone for the first time. My sweet friend from Alaska came to visit us with her man-child. I say man-child because he is only 16, but is huge and man like. To think I was in the room helping him come into this world. Crazy to think who we were then and who we are now. Even better, is the friendship that has lasted these 16+ years.
The weather was so hot while they were in town. We kept cool by heading to Santa Cruz and Capitola. We also lived by the pool. I also got to experience my first case of car sickness with the monster. Have I mentioned my hatred for vomit. I feel I can tolerate a lot, but vomit is so wrong. Max no longer can play iPad games or read while driving. Lesson learned. Cleaning vomit out of a car seat on the side of the freeway is not a pleasant experience. You have been warned people.
|A and T|
|coolest pirate kite|
|what's down there?|
|we really tried to win that damn minion|
Sunday, June 15, 2014
I am sure you are growing tired of my fabulous garden, but I must document it.
Please forgive me.......
I can not help myself 😝
Green juice from the kale, chard, lettuce in my garden. ( I add apple, celery, lime, lemon and carrots too) I plan on planting some of that next year.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
So about a year and a half ago, my friend I went on a mama-cation. It was heavenly, and it was also the first time I was away from Max for more than one night. It was also the weekend I weaned Max completely away from my boob. All major events. And my sweet Hubby was totally up for the challenge, and I was told, the first night was ugly. Max was pretty pissed at Dad.
We travelled to Santa Monica for a three day weekend adventure. You can check it out here for a recap RECAP :)
It was wonderful, so why not do it again? This time our destination was San Diego. Things were a tad different this time around. Leigh was 7 months preggo so we had to curb her drinking. So the good friend I am, I drank for two.
Leigh was such a trooper. We walked all over the city. Her poor swollen feet. It reminded me of those days where you couldn't wait for that baby to pop out. But even in her discomfort, I was all green with envy (the good kind) counting down the days, or actually months now it till I am in that same wonderful boat.
We attended a comedy show, acted like tourists and rode the trolley, hit the beach, got pedicures and slept in. Ah, sweet sweet sound sleep. How I had missed you.
On a side note, the Rock and Roll Marathon was going on while we were there. I have to admit, this did not motivate me in the slightest to get back on my exercising regime. I'll start that next week.
|they will even bring you shoes and work out clothes.....|
Ah, no thanks.
|pool side with my new hat Leigh got me for my BDay|
|Best sandy beach is in San Diego-Coronado|