I read a lot of blogs. Mostly about parenting, motherhood and DIYing. One topic I haven't seen a lot about is household balance. And what I mean by this is how a couple maintains a balance in the household once a child enters the picture. The hubby and I have been married seven years next Monday. And it has been a great seven years too ( no itch yet, lol). Before we had Max we talked at lenght about how it would look, being parents. Who would sleep or not sleep, who would work a 9-5 job and who would be good cop vs. bad cop. We went around and around on some issues but I knew I wanted to stay home. I didn't know how the rest would pan out, but I was ready for what ever came my way. Max is now a year old, and the hubby and I have a pretty good system worked out....a well oiled machine one might say. With the exception that about every few months I tend to come undone. This usually manifests in me becoming a little withdrawn and little short. The hubby typically picks up on these signs. I then usually break down and go into a long explanation on why I need a break, and how I feel overwhelmed.
Now I have to believe that most mothers feel me on this. We do A LOT of work. My question is, how do we balance this so its divided fairly, and so one parent doesn't feel like they take the brunt of it???
Now R is a great provider and a great dad so I feel awful after my quarterly break downs. How do I not let myself transcend down the rabbit hole? How do I not get resentful?
What the hubby suggested, and what he always suggests, is that I ask for help. If I need a little extra help or an escape, ask for it. Easy enough right? Why is it then that I don't? A computation problem for me I suppose. Something I probably need to look into more....
But my goal is to ask more so that I can have more balance. So that our household can have more balance. I can see how this slope can get slippery. How couples stop asking for help and slowly get weighed down by resentment and bitterness. I do not want to travel down this road.
So I will continue to ask. And I love R so much for simply reminding me to do so.